Random Thoughts by Ktownbuddha

Kim Parcels.  What you did was wrong.  I think that you know it was wrong too.  I was honest with you. I told you that I didn't like you the way that you deserve.  I told you that we could be friends, but I wasn't interested in dating you anymore.  What did you do?  You saw an ex-gf of mine post me on that Facebook group, and you decided to tag along.  Instead of talking to me about it, I could have explained it to you., you went toxic.  That was truly sad.  Stephanie Boyle.  Once I found out about the post, things started to make sense for me.  For some strange reason I had had my Tinder, POF and Hinge accounts banned.  I never knew why, and the companies weren't useful in providing any information.  I now know that you were behind it.  Out of vengeance for me not wanting to date you, that was your game to play.  Ban me from dating period.  So Kimmie, you fell into her trap.  Instead of talking to me about it, you let your ignorance take over.

I'm not sure what to call this yet.  That woman I went on a date with probably a month ago or so, keeps getting stuck in my head.  I'm not sure what her reasons were to not wanting to go on a 3rd date were but I do respect her wishes.  It just seems like she was a lot of fun and smart and it would have been interesting to get to know her better. Whatever it is, I wish her the best. I've gone on several dates with a woman recently.  She is nice, funny and the conversations flow easily.  I'm not sure if I'm attracted to her though.  I think it's me though.  I don't think I'm ready to date seriously yet.  I think I'm still a bit messed up from dealing with Daniela the narcissist.  

 So I've been dating.  Or rather I've been trying to date.  I'm confused and lost.  I go out with these women, they are very nice and very kind and I have some fun.  Good conversations but I don't feel anything.  I don't mean that I'm not attracted to them, I mean I'm going through the motions.  The one from several weeks ago keeps popping in my mind.  She was smart.  I'm not sure if she met somebody else, or if life just happened.  Life can be a real bitch. I keep thinking I'm going to run into Daniela.  I've been out and about more.  I'm sure it will happen at some point.  I try not to shrink when I'm out, and try to think about spreading my shoulders and claiming my space.  That's what I want to do.  Claim myself back.  Fuck what she put me through.  

So Friday night I went and met a woman for some cider and a bit to eat.  Had a lovely night, she's quite cute and she thinks she is a conservative.  She really isn't but she loves the rhetoric.  I find it truly amazing how the right wing has been able to convince people that they are what's best for them, even though they are terrible for them personally.  I honestly don't really care.  If the conservatives get in, I am personally much better off, however I believe society is worse off.   If the liberals stay in power, I am personally worse off, however I believe society is better off.   Anyhow it was a fun night, we kissed and met for a hike the next day.  I needed to get out for a bit.  I have been chatting to a few other women and I'm really excited to meet them.  Two of them have long term potential, while one I think would be a lot of fun for both of us.  Time will tell.

 So I went on a 2nd date with a lovely woman.  It had been about 3 weeks since our first date and I think that was a good thing.  It gave me perspective.  We had both been busy and she has two children so she doesn't have a ton of free time.  I understand that and respect it.  Now then, she asked me a very important question, have I dated a woman with kids before.  Well of course I have "dated" women with kids, but I have never had a serious relationship with somebody who has kids.  It does bring up a lot of interesting questions.  I'm not sure how that would work, or if it would be what I want.  That being said, it seems silly to exclude an entire population of people just because they have children. My goal of the date was to have some fun, be authentic and try to stay present.  I really struggle with being present.  I'm so good at faking that I'm there and going with the motions.  I've lived my whole life that way.  Ugh.  Anyhow we had a lovely evening,