Date Night and Date Bail

 So I went on a 2nd date with a lovely woman.  It had been about 3 weeks since our first date and I think that was a good thing.  It gave me perspective.  We had both been busy and she has two children so she doesn't have a ton of free time.  I understand that and respect it.  Now then, she asked me a very important question, have I dated a woman with kids before.  Well of course I have "dated" women with kids, but I have never had a serious relationship with somebody who has kids.  It does bring up a lot of interesting questions.  I'm not sure how that would work, or if it would be what I want.  That being said, it seems silly to exclude an entire population of people just because they have children.

My goal of the date was to have some fun, be authentic and try to stay present.  I really struggle with being present.  I'm so good at faking that I'm there and going with the motions.  I've lived my whole life that way.  Ugh. 

Anyhow we had a lovely evening, she's very attractive and easy to talk to.  I think she may have had a bit too much wine but I was fine.  She kept touching me and asked if it was ok, of course it was, and then she asked to kiss me.  She's an attractive woman and of course I said yes.  We kissed a bit at wine bar, and then again on the street and in the car before I dropped her off.  She was tipsy ad couldn't drive so I drove her home, and she left her vehicle at the restaurant.  I showed her where I lived, because I live in one of her old neighborhoods, then I drove her home.  I'm sure I could have brought her inside, but that's not what I wanted.  So i drove her home, did some chores and went to bed.

Actually I had to talk to the woman I was to have a date with today.  Just to make sure we were still on, and what the plan was.  Just to give you some backstory, she had already cancelled on two dates.  One she wasn't sure if we should date, another was something else I can't remember, and the last one was she was tired after working.  This time she was already prepping me with she wasn't feeling well.  So today comes around, and she doesn't communicate that much and then with less than an hour to go she cancels.  I'm done with the games and bullshit and I told her that I'm done.  She hasn't been treating me that well, so I'm out.  Something is up with her, and I have no idea what it is.  I'm out.  I'm done chasing her, and I really did want to meet her because I thought it could be really good, but something is up with her.

Now then, how does this all compare to my previous relationship and that first date.  Daniela and I had a great first date.  We talked a lot and had fun and we both didn't want it to end.  However, looking back it was superficial just like Daniela.  Nothing of real substance.  The date with Ruth was much better.  I'm not sure what the date with Ashley would have been like, but it's her loss.  What I'm realizing is that I am a catch.  Women want to be with me.  I'm good looking, intelligent, honest, authentic and vulnerable.  I go to therapy to deal with my issues, and I can communicate.  I'm going to be picky, but I'm lonely.  I still wish it would have worked out with Daniela, but she wasn't willing to deal with her issues.  Everything was somebody else's fault.  Thanks to her and her food shaming, I'm lighter than I've been in years.  I need to keep it off, but I need to eat more.