Trauma

People think that the reason I was so upset after the breakup was due to Daniela.  It was a bit, but it was about so much more.  

About a week before she walked out on our relationship, I had come to so deeper realizations about my childhood and life.  It was full on trauma.  There were lots of things I was dealing with and in fact still am, and will be for awhile.  I discussed some of this with Daniela at the time, and I've uncovered more about it since then.  Her walking out on me and our relationship was a trigger of me feeling abandoned and alone since I was a kid.  I felt truly and utterly alone and worthless once again.

Throw in trying to deal with ending a relationship with somebody who has zero ability to handle conflict, controlling, unhealed trauma, has narcissistic tendencies and it's a recipe for disaster.  She was and is a beautiful person on the outside.  I honestly believe our relationship was too much for her.  She had to blow it up because it was making her confront her past and she wasn't in a place to do that.  I see the amazing person she can be, not the superficial shallow person that her friends want her to be.  Her friends want to drag her down to their level, instead of letting her soar.  She needs a better group of friends.