La Playa



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

PDAC

So we are at PDAC.  I'm not sure if I have talked about this much here, but Daniela was extremely controlling and manipulative when it came to what I ate.  I have struggled to eat at all since mid March.  I'm down a shit ton of weight and it hasn't been healthy.  For some reason the mental block coms with me cooking.  I used to love to cook.  Lately I have been totally unable to and the thought of being in the kitchen triggers me, makes me feel like shit, and I normally end up in tears.  That being said I have learned that I can eat when I go out, or at other people's houses.  Not sure why that is, but I am working through that with my therapist. Anyhow, fast forward to Toronto and PDAC, and my stomach has been on a wild ride.  All different foods and cuisines, bread, cream, fat etc etc.  My stomach has been killing me.  My mouth loves it, the body less so.  It will adjust but it's been interesting.  
Read more

Confused

I honestly don't know what I would do.  If she came back, would I take her back?  Has she done any self reflection?  I doubt it.  After her last outburst blaming me for things that I didn't do, I don't think she has.  Nothing is ever this woman's fault.  It's such a shame though.  What we could have had would have been magical.  I get it though, you have to accept people for where they are at in life.  She was so fucking mean and destructive.  I've never in my life been treated like that. This hike is a good thing.  It has given me something to focus on but it's a distraction at best.  We hiked on Sunday and I totally and completely wasn't there.  I was going through the motions.  I need to focus on being present again.  
Read more